june 21 2000
just got back. remind me never to let pj post for me again. i've received 57 e-mails demanding to know what i'd ever "done to him" to make him so "stunted and bitter."
while my insteps and shins are somehow burnt to hell, the rest of my body seemed to bronze nicely. more importantly, my 29 hours away from the city and in the alternately verdant and marine splendor of the hamptons have revealed certain truths that i feel compelled to share. these aren't necessarily funny, so don't go expecting some vintage smartassy proven. nor are they intelligent, nor will they include self-effacing footnotes or subtlely-worded asides that expose my nearly limitless control of the english language. nor do they feature aspirations, confidences, or naughty bits. well, maybe an areola here and there, but that's it. another thing they will not include are disclaimers or caveats explaining what they are not.
well, shit.
- there is never anything wrong with sitting on the end of a pier eating mint chocolate chip ice cream.
- sometimes watching three back-to-back episodes of the real world is the only thing you should expect of yourself.
- sneaking online to check your email and site traffic and what your favorite people are saying is technically permissible, but should also make you feel like a big herb.
- when someone says "oh, don't worry about grabbing your cds, there are decent radio stations out here," do not believe them, unless you're good and ready to suffer through 90 minutes of "come on virginia, don't let me *click* one, two, shake it shake *click* maria, mariaaaaaaa, she was a rose in spanish har- *click*" and so on.
- the answer to "do you want cheese with that?" is "hells, yes." every time.
- falling asleep on the beach with your face in your hat while reading harper's is not only permissible, but is well worth the effort.
- baby lotion has that good baby smell because johnson & johnson puts lots of crushed babies in every container of baby lotion. really.
- hip-hop videos suck. no wonder people don't realize that the music is worthwhile.
- while the pragmatism behind the "pickle in a pouch" is appreciated, such a product should never have actually been loosed upon the world.
- don't fool yourself into thinking you can always get a toothbrush when you get there. it ain't gwan happen.
- watching enter the dragon, then the first half of shaft before passing out is pretty damn close to nirvana.
- that nirvana also includes raymond chandler's the big sleep.
- that nirvana does not include kurt cobain, kris(t) novoselic or dave grohl.
- yes, i know who dave grohl is.
- that out of three pictures of yourself, one will always make you look like some sort of drooling cretin.
to recap: verdant and marine splendor. drooling cretins.
and yo. my full-on venture kneejerk.net is up and running, though not nearly full. go and getcha read on. for me.
props to darkcounter.com
and sitemeter